No internet, no postings

Sorry for the lack of posts.  I no longer have internet at home as I have been trying to focus mainly on school as I get close to the goal of graduation.  Less than 8 weeks to go!  I'm happy about this for sure.  I have also been trying to get right financially which is easier said than done when you work less hours than you use to but I know that with school and needing to be at home for the kids that it would be rough for a little bit.  Hopefully once I graduate I will be able to get that perfect job after all my hard work. 

So since I have only internet on my phone most of my time online is only for school now.  It has been a good summer though for me and the kids.  We are still having great times, amazing stories to share, and real bonding talks.  I can really say that our relationship is getting stronger and that Madison and Kobe's relationship is improving as Maddy gets older and realizes that as long as she acts like a big kid I will always treat her that way.  One sad thing though is having to see the disappointment on her face sometimes when she talks about her mom and how she seems to be going back to her old ways of not including them or having some type of balance with her kids and her personal life.  It hurts to see that because I never had a relationship with my dad and I see a lot of the same pain in Madison's eyes.  She tries so hard to get her mother's approval yet seems to be only picked on and never praised for doing right or good.  This is what happened to her mom while growing up as she still is constantly trying to gain her mothers approval even in her mid thirties.  This is why Madison continues counseling and going to her girl empowerment group.  This is why we sit down and talk and I get eye level and face to face with her to show her that we are in this together and that in me she always has someone to depend on and ask for help when she needs it.  While I am trying to do the same with Kobe, the task is greater because he cannot express his thoughts and feelings like his sister can.  The nice part is that he and I have a bond already, the same kind I have with Madison, yet also stronger.  He knows he can come to me.  He knows if he does wrong that yes I will let him know but he will get a hug and a "build up" at the end and not a tear down or threat like he does from someone else. 

We all have struggles and challenges.  We all attack them in different ways in order to reach our goals.  The important thing to remember is that everyone's journey is different and that we all have to show compassion and lend a helping hand to those who need it.  Helping someone is a great way to give back for all the help you've gotten when you needed it.